i wish i could...

say that i have been successful and that i have kicked mia out of my life - but unfortunately this is not the case... however today i did see my psych dr and i told her i wanted my effexor upped because it makes me feel better... in actuality when i was taking it before they took me OFF the effexor completely saying it was contributing to my ANA - well screw that! i need something to help so i got her to double it and i havent taken it for 3 days - believe me i could feel it too! i have been one bitchy snappy grumpy crank and i hate feeling like that! she even asked me what was wrong when i went in there - i guess my ugly was showing! anyway - so i took it a few minutesago - normally i take in the am so, i took it now with hopes it will take away ALL cravings in the morning and i will take tomorrows in the am as well... then just in the am from there on... but if it works this may help me to get away from mia for the day... i KNOW once i get away from her for the day i can begin to get back on track with ANA and restricting or fasting... so keep fingers, toes, knees elbows - anything that crosses - crossed that this works!  i have GOT to get mia under control - hubby is home in 33 days and if he sees mia in full action he is gonna SHIT SOME BRICKS! maybe even some BOULDRS!