11:43am Mood: hopeful & determined
i got up early this am groggy as hell - again... yeah i took those night meds again and i just have the worst time waking after those - oh well... so i got the meds out for the boys and rested on the couch till time for the bus - it was raining so i took them to the busstop again...when i am laying down i move my head too fast the wrong way and gave myself a kink in my neck / under the shoulder blade of my right shoulder - its killing me... when i get back from busstop i go to my room and try to get some more sleep... they left at 650am and i look at the clock now - 7am... i close my eyes and when i look at the clock again it is 811 and i just cant sleep so i get up and shower... i decide to shave my legs today cuz i may wear my capri workout pants to the gym tonight...zumba @ 6pm!
while laying in my bed trying to sleep lastnight i was thinking...when i woke i continued to just think and even in my sleep i was in a light sleep and all i could do was think... i have developed a plan... i am going to try what we did in the hospital and have something to eat every 2 hrs... i say every 2 and i have it programed in my head so i dont forget... i had 35 cals for breakfast and its time for the next so another cup of almond coffee is about to be made for my second meal... i have already sort of broken the plan because it has been over 2 hrs since i had the first but i am allowing myself to have the calories and keep them down during that 2 hrs as well - if that makes sense? so an example is i made the coffee at 9 - i had till 11 to finsh it; now i have another to make and i have til 1 to drink it etc.... idk if this will help but we shall see...so far i feel ok with it and its making the coloslim i took lastnight work to cleanse my system...
ok so coloslim - its an all natural body cleanse i ordered and it was like $80 so better work! anyway i do that at night and then im also doing the miralax and all my vitamins etc... idk my weight right now as i was still @ 123 but ive been going to the bathroom like crazy so i think it may be down ill check in a bit maybe - it is really triggering for me though because im trying to keep some calories in so i may just not weigh again... we will see as i am very OCD with my weight checks all day!
so for this day at this exact moment - i set my mood as hopeful & determined... i am determined to lose mia, lose this weight and make my body thin as i want - without all the bad stuff... maybe restricting is not the best idea - but i think it is better than mia... also my face which was so swollen from insane amounts of bp over the past few months is finally going down! i am very happy about that - i hate looking even fatter than i am because of swollen facial and neck glands... so i am off for a bit to make this coffee and read my nook for a bit... i just want to be clear of all food as i dont want to cave and i feel like this may actually be my chance to rid myself of mia - so i better take it while its here idk when the chance might arise again otherwise...
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