journey on...: so i was MIA for a few days - as in missing in action... update!

ok so its been 3 days - sorry... i just had nothing i felt like sharing... yes things happened and life was moving in circles around me - but i just didnt feel like putting any effort into anything... so well i didnt!
so i did the MC day 1 was great - except the dam salt water flush (SWF)! omg! that crap was nasty and then what happens? i dont lose - i GAIN! i went up from 112 to 117! then i decide to try the flush the next am - maybe it will work now and get things moving right? NOPE! grrrr.... so then im at 119 and totally freaking out! thats it - day 2 sux! i hated day 2 and by the end of it i had bp to get that crap out and laxed to clean my guts of any left over salt! so my recommendation NO SALT! it is VERY EVIL! this morning i get up and im back to 112! THANK YOU GOD! my body and my HEAD could NOT handle that! all that work to get down to have it blown by trying to do something better and helathier... healthier my ass!
ok so now ventings done on the SWF...

NO SALT ALLOWED!

moving on... so yesterday i go to the gym... im really psyched too i wanna burn so many calories and make this weight that i 'somehow' gained GO AWAY! i swear ghost weight - wtf! anyway... so im on the bike and chatting on yahoo and texting another friend - 3 friends at once lol then hubby too! it was awesome i was so distracted i was able to workout really good... well there was a break in the conversations a bit so i got on this other machine - like a glider/elliptical... ayway im just setting it up when i see this guy recognized... when he got closer i knew who it was - a parent to one of my very first MA summer camp students... he stops to talk... i ask about his sn and wife - she had breast cancer thankfully she has been in remission for a year after many treatments and surgery... i tell him about y boys and the seizure and hubby being gone... then he says "u ve lost quite a bit of weight - how much have u lost?" im like "about 40lbs" he says "40! y! u were never big to begin with!" so tha just totally stoked my day - till i got home... oh i burned 860 cals! whoohoo! i get home and weigh - 116! no this is NOT going to work! i freak out and with everything else i caved... my brain was just so triggered NOTHING was gonna fix it... i think if id have ahd a gun - well i would have USED IT! so i ate and purged... down 115 - yes! so i take lax and like i said got up this am - 112! yay! so my hopes? 110 tomorrow! but anyway - so at the gym - i tweaked my left knee which then progrssed ino my thigh and hip... grand...

K - SO I WAS NOT HAPPY - BUT I WAS TRIGGERED!

so today i wake up rearing and ready to go! my weight is down and im ready to try this cleanse again! i get downstairs and make my tea and cleanse -NO FLUSH! and get the boys ready and take em to the bus... then i head to the gym! yay! im gonna get a geat workout early today! then i decide at the last minute to irst go to walmart and see if they have the weighted workout vest - they do but its more than targets... so i d get a new shirt and a workout jacket to match what i was wearing today - i was cold and it was only $9... so i pay and drive across to target - it is 8am right now and i know already what i want... so i hurry there and get the vest, on the way i pass the toilet bowl brushes and remember we need new ones... they are on sale so i get one for each bathroom and go to the checkout... i get to the van to find - i cant gt the vest out of the box! it i zip-tied! grrrrrr.... ok breathe! i go to the gym and just take the box and vest in one with me... thankfully the girl at the desk had scissors! yay! so i go up to the machines and get one the bike... start pedaling and OMG my thigh is burning! ive only done 10cals! wtf! NO! i dont care im working out anyway - still shooting for the 1000 cals... but now idk... i barely make 500 and i gotta stop - there is no physical way i can do more... damn... ok go home put some tiger balm on and come back for zumba tonight - thats the plan! i get home slather with balm and guess what? theres that damn trigger again!

THIS IS LIKE THE BIKE I USE

i weighed - i GOTTA stop doing that! i know im drinking and keeping it down its going to screw with the weights! too bad and to late... i caved...i bp 2x before we left fot the gym at 445... yeah class wasnt till 530 but if we got there at 5 i cold do another 30 on the bikes and kill 200 cals more plus the 600 in the class - id kill like 1300cals this way! WRONG! TRAFFIC! grrrrr.... we get there its 510 - i have 15 min to do the bike so im gonna do as much as i can - push myself... i did too! i made 120cals! YES! i stand up and oh boy! leg killing me! IGNORE IT ALREADY! yep - thats what i do!

i hobbled as quick as i could and got to the class just as the music turned on to start the warmups... by the end of the class - i could barely move myleft leg - but i did the whole class! however... not without issues... during the class things started zooming in and out... i got really dizzy and lightheaded and at one point i felt like everything was so distant - like i wasnt really there? it was really weird and i felt really unsafe because of it... i still did it... got th boys and came home... finished the homemade spaghetti sauce and stumbled up the tairs to weigh and change... i weighed - 114 same as when i had left... yay! well not really yay - i wanted it lower but i actually had expected higher so i was like ok - gonna make it throught his... well i didnt... i ended up bp on spaghetti noodles slatheed in alfredo sauce and a handful of trail mix... grrr... so yep - i did lax too and now waiting for it to work!

so as u can see ive had a VERY eventful last few days - just didnt feel up to posting... i suppose partially because i have friends to talk with and i kind of vented with them as tese things were going on...

tomorrow is the farmers market and well im going to TRY to not go to the gym... i am becoming quite addicted again... even when i am in sheer pain and agony and i know thats not good... plus the body needs a day off to get rid of lactic acid and actually drop weight and build/repair muscles... i really think i pulled possibly tore a muscle in my thigh so i think i better not go... unless i wanna get in the pool and THAT is a big fat NO!

OK SO BEFORE I GO! i measured lastnight! thighs down from 17.5" to 16.3"! YES! hips down from 36" to 34.4" YAY! and finally waist is down from 25" to just at 24"! i am no happy about the weight but my BMI is now 16.5 and weight 112 so here are my new updated pics...