Idk but thats how it felt for me...id like to get drunk 2night but actually scared ill gain so prob wont. Fighting mia BIG time 2day and hoping i can avoid her.
Friday, August 12, 2011
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you've come too far to take order from a cookie!!
this just ain't right!
always remember this...
diagnosed as AN w/ BN tendencies - restrict, b/p, other behaviors of AN/BN. I have AN/BN - but I am not pro-Ana. i am trying to define me other than AN/BN. the posts are my thoughts - i need to make them visible. sometimes i write in a journal & sometimes here is better. if u follow my journey i hope u benefit in a positive way & know if u have an ed u are not alone. don't ask for tips, tricks or help with trying to "get" an ed - i won't help someone get sick.
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2011
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August
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- MOOD: DISAPPOINTED, ANXIOUS, FRUSTRATED, WORRIED A...
- MOOD: frustrated and in pain Ok so the wisdom toot...
- MOOD:irritated and in pain Hoping these updates r...
- Mood: TRAPPED, betrayed Well so im not sure im go...
- Merged and time to share...
- Well here is a short update. Im sitting @ the hosp...
- I know i need to journal but cant seem to focus to...
- If not - i can always print my posts out and stapl...
- MOOD: FRUSTRATED, TRIGGERED, ANXIOUSOk so i woke a...
- t gave up
- So once i got up i decided to b/p bcuz well -tmi, ...
- rged well...i am empty now and at 111 STILL
- So now ive taken all my meds and im out of the hou...
- I was reading through my blog comments and althoug...
- So ok today has not been anything as i had anticip...
- Anyway so i b/p 2x more, had my session with G. Wh...
- MOOD: skeptikal, hopeful, alone, sad, depressedWel...
- Ive already weighed, medicated, showered and dress...
- Im trying to give myself the pep tlk to motivate a...
- He gave me a hug and grabbed me...he was holding m...
- Idk but thats how it felt for me...id like to get ...
- For any1 readin and maybe gettin a benefit of my j...
- So i have 1 hr to decide somethin to do...debatin ...
- MOOD: depressed, alone, sad, defeated, questionabl...
- Yet those same people are struggling with their ow...
- So my weight today? Yay finally going down again! ...
- So now it is 7pm...i caved 1x today to get some ph...
- This is kind of odd but normally i weigh in lbs......
- My goal is to be able to look @ myself in the mirr...
- just another weekend day...
- stomach acid, acid reflux and mia...does it ever e...
- i hate new days sometimes!!
- bout time i merge these posts!
- one a penny two a penny hot cross fail... (tuesday...
- triggers - triggers and MORE TRIGGERS!!!
- happy birthday to my baby!
- beyond exhaustion today...
- i need a day 're-do' please!
- an EARTHQUAKE in VIRGINIA???!!!
- 615pm Sumthin thats really botherin me is the fac...
- Never figured id lose that much in my hands! Its j...
- Goal for tomorrow: chew gum, no b/p drink 3 protei...
- If im able to keep even 1 down thats a huge sucess
- 7:07am MOOD: tired, determinedSo today i have set...
- I plan to have iced coffee/protein shakes and try ...
- This is going to be difficult as ive not held anyt...
- Im awake bcuz hubby forgot his phone and a soldier...
- Well ugh...so far goal has failed but the day is s...
- MOOD: disgusted, depressed, huge and many more... ...
- Mia been outta control. I got my fucking period-cr...
- Wish the power was wrkin so i could log in and ful...
- I would today admit myself for the way i feel if i...
- I hate the way im feeling today. I hate whenever i...
- Feel like it really is not worth the struggles or ...
- Im not a good person -quite the opposite i fear. W...
- My hair is falling out in clumps, might be bald so...
- Just wearing scrubbies to keep hidden just so i ca...
- 948am MOOD: depressed, in pain emotionally and phy...
- I hate this weight. I hate being a humunga - sauru...
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August
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About Me
- 'Krystal'
- I think the page description says it all... NOT pro-Ana; not giving tips, tricks or helping others get sick or sicker. Here for my own recovery and positive support to anyone no matter where they may be with their ed...
I am not pro-Ana but I still have my thoughts and fears!
you've come too far to take order from a cookie!!
its all about change now...
I am trying to make things different. I am trying to change. I've said this in the past but many things just always stayed the same - my thinking for example. So I am trying to make things better - I can't give up. I have this blog I've ranted and raved and said a lot of raw things but they were my thoughts and emotions at the time so I'm going to keep those posts in th archive.
however, the new blog address is now wannachange2011 because that is my ultimate goal - to finally keep my footing and make the change towards my health and recovery...I hope you'll continue to follow my journey...
however, the new blog address is now wannachange2011 because that is my ultimate goal - to finally keep my footing and make the change towards my health and recovery...I hope you'll continue to follow my journey...
my fears continue to grow!
this just ain't right!
Only determination will get u to ur goals!
hatebeingme@gmail.com. Powered by Blogger.
Followers
from song 'courage' by superchick...she says it all
always remember this...
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