today is a lllloooonnnngggg day...

140pm sunday nov 20, 2011

MOOD: exhausted, anxious, triggered, sore throat and headache...

i woke this am at 7 - well i was already really awake but i actually got out the bed and finally took 800mg motrin... this migraine i had started in the night and i thought i was dying... thn i lay back down and tried to sleep... no luck so finally i grabbed my phone and sent a meassage to my friend and a text o hubby for when would he be home s his breakfast would be ready... at 9am i lazily dressed in sleep pants entirely too big for me with a tsirt and a long sleeve sweater...

i had known i was triggere and i was trying to fight and be careful but i ened up caving in...i made my huby a bagel with egg n cheese and some coffee and while those were cooking i made some oatmeal with raisins... when his was done mine was done and we sat to eat... well he decided he was not going to sleep because he wasnt sleepy and i made  bagel for my youngest with butter and cream cheese and a bagel for me with butter, pb and honey...when i got done i tried to fight the voices telling me how fat i was getting sitting there and after about 5 min i couldnt take it anymore and ran into the bathroom downstair to empty it from my gut... i then went to my room, stripped, weighed, redressed and carried the latch hook downstairs... while down there i took my effexor since after i had weighed i tok my other meds as well...

after a few minutes i decided i was exhausted and was going to try to sleep - not do the latch hook right then... i slowly climbed the stairs completely exhausted and feeling exherted with eaxh step and breath the made my way to my bed... climbed in an grabbed my phone to chat with my friend... idk how long we chatted - not long, but som where around 11 i decided to log out and ty to sleep a little... well i drifted off quickly and i woke startled by some child outside or next door screaming and crying no! no! i didint do it! i wont! and at first it was so soft i thougt was in my mind but when i jumped nd woke it was a little louder and i went to check to be certain was not one of my boys in trouble which it was not....

i came back to my bed where i had to change all my clothes and put a towel down on the bed... i do not EVER sweat - im always cold but for some reason i had awoke in complete saturation of sweat through my clothing and onto the bed sheets... i was still chilly so i wonder if i could have had a fver andi broke from the motrin - maybe thats what the migraine was from?... i lay back down with my phon and start to talk with m friend agin, guess i was aslee nearly  hrs - yikes! ting is i still feel tired, like ive not slept, my eyelids are heavy and drooping and i can barely keep em open...

im highly triggered - woke from the sleep like this and the tiredness just makes me feel more triggred... i know if i bp it will exhaust me but for a bit i wll also have loads of energy... trying to figt it and my friend is as well so we keep talking... i decided to log into my laptop maybe this will wake m up and help wit the need to bp??? idk - but it is not helping yet!

so far today i have bp once, have a sore throat and a migraine... have to make tacos for dinner and tke my friend home plus get some gas... i hope i am strong eough to finally strike back at mia today...