another failure of a day for me...

611pm 27 Oct,2011
MOOD: disgusted, frustrated, tired, hate hate hate myself...

so i guess u can tell it was not the kind of day i wanted it to be... i ended up bp 2x which could have been worse i suppose but thankfully was not... the first one was just rice and the 2nd was a salad and cereal - yes an odd combo but thats what i had... no idea... anyway - it really made me angry that i caved the first time but the 2nd gave me the major itch to cut - so far ive resisted...

i saw cm today... i had another of those weird episodes while i was there and i told her... she was like maybe u need to be seen nd admitted? i was like no ill be fine... if it keeps up ill go... well its been a few times today but not too bad... i went back and saw her after the bookfair so she could see i was fine as she had said for me to do... she said she just wanted to make sure i was alive and still coherent... im grand...

im in a foul feeling mood right now... i feel disgusted and like i could rip myself apart if i didnt have anyone here right now... im so disgusted with myself and this dam eating issue...  i cant handle this shit much longer...

so with this - i had a pleasant chat with a friend on text today - that was nice... she is so sweet.
my son did his promotion board and first inspection for JROTC today and he was so excited when he came to tell me in the library... it made me smile for him.

my husband is home now - he got home at 6 - earliest all week but he has work to do again... prob not done to sit on the couch till at least 730... oh well at least he is home now... my son was so excited to tell him about the board he is still talking about it...

i cashed a check at walmart we got and i bought some groceries so that was good...

gotta go - guess this is all i have for tonight.