and the cravings continue...

so it is 130pm...
and so far ive drank very little and eaten nothing... helps i slept till 1130... well then at some point idk what time - i had to pee so i got up... a little alarmed there is blood in my urine... hoping was a fluke or somethig and just goes away... i do NOT want to go back to the dr...grrr... so of course the fear is a huge trigger for me and im fighting the HUGE cravings to go to olive garden... wish i had just gone there yesterday instead of settling for golden coral... these cravings wouldnt be s bad now i dont think... oh well whats done is done now... i want to go to zumba tonight so i really hope the blood was nothing.. if i do go to the dr at least now it has to be the er - there wont be any open appts at the clinic now it too late in the day and they close at 4pm...
so my weight - grrr... almost the same up a tad 116... i hate up! i dont want up - i want DOWN! so i am fighint these cravings...talking to a friend who is fasting with me online and another texting... together i think we can pull through we just have to really fight... the hardest is mia in the back of my mind fuckng with me... freaking me out making me afraid of everything... telling me the only way to make me feel better is to give in and bp... im going to keep fighting this - i really hope i can be strong... i probably need to drink something - just afraid to put anything into my mouth - will lead to a damn bp session again...
im starting to feel a little worried - i am having some pains in my lower left side - front and back... damn i realy hope its not a damn infection! i cant handle that right now - talk about weight gain! everytime i get a damn infection it makes me have to get flids and medication through iv and then in addition i tmakes the body retain so i gain a TON of weight! i cant handle that right now - physically or emotionally! so im sitting here reading my class threads and chatting with my friends - mia nagging at the back of the mind and trying not to worry or cave... so to help with that i have been watching a youtube clip - here is the link... u will not be hungry after u watch this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIBbH8e8rMM

YOUR STOMACH SHOULD NOT ALMOST TOUCH UR ANKLES!