1020am...
so i woke this morning with a new mind frame... i am GOING to be successful! ok... so i keep saying im going to do smethng and then in the end i fail - NOT this time! i am doing the master cleanse detox with a friend... i made my tea when i got up this am and then drank it while i was out buying my drink container and lemons and a notebook my son needs for school... when i got home i went straight in and made the lemonade drink... i AM doing this! so i came back up to my room it was 830am by then... i took my one oep and then logged onto the computer... i started to read threads on fgg but then got my tea so i could finish it... all done yay! now to make myself drink the lemonade... i tried this cleanse once before but i was doing it alone and i never could get myself to drink the lemonade... well i am doing with my friend and i feel much more confident i can and WILL do this! at least 10days - thats te initial goal... people have reported losing upwards of 20lbs in 14 days with this so we will see how it goes!
i gotta call my husbands grandmother some time today... i need to do my interview for my class... it was supposed to be done by today i just have NOT been able to get myself to call! i just dont wanna talk on the phone so i have put it off and now it isnt done... i told my team ill have it by friday so i have a little time... i also need to read my text this week! i will read it - i WILL! i also ordered 2 books for me to read - they will help motivate me as i do this cleanse i think... the cleanse is actually for a few different reasons... one to lose weight - duh... but also because it detoxes and cleanses the body of anything in there... well i had some meat the other day - im not proud of that, but as a result my body reacted negatively nd my face broke out... this cleanse should get rid of any remaining nasty stuff and help me to start fresh when im ready... my plan though is to go to the vegan protein shakes when im done with this detox... i just wanna see how long i can go for supposed to be safe up to 40 days so who knows? the lnger the better as it gets me further and further away from mia...
so far im doing ok... i am very triggered right now by mia to bp...so far i am winning this battle - self determination and motivation and a friend to help along the way! i am not giving up this battle without a strong fight... i really need to get myself in order and getrid of mia... i feel i can live pretty healthy with ana as long as i am careful but u know one thing at a time...
i was talking to hubby...he didnt have much to say... i felt a sense of depression... that makes things so rough... i hate when he is depressed... now i also have to go to the store and do NOT feel up to it.. no choice really... i gotta get some tp, cheese and some more lemons... either there or sams and i really am not up for driving to sams today... right now i will just settle to be successful with day one and then see what tomorrow brings...
my boys r due home any minute... i feel quite exhausted but i know i can do this... i feel i need a nap but im afraid to as it may result in no sleeping tonight which is bad - very bad... that could lead to a huge bp which means i break the cleanse... nope not happening... i will try to hold out staying awake as long as i can and then eventually sleep will take over... when it does am ready...
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