day 12 and it was VERY triggering!

745pm Friday                                                                                                                      
MOOD/EMOTION: EXTREMELY TRIGGERED and anxious

so ive been writing in my physical journal the past few days - ive actually had the time nd focus!  but tonight i left both journals in the van and it is COLD outside so i dont feel like going to retreive it!

today has been so hard for me! i had a LOT of shopping to do and was supposed to do my labs this am... got up at 7am and dressed then headed to the hospital... hubby had texted me he forgot to shave so i brought his shaver with me and he met me in the lobby... i didnt get the labs because the dr had put them in for jan 3 or later...oh well!

next i went to the px, sams, then staples and michaels...after all this we went to big lots and it was noon! hubby texted me for some lunch so i took him a pizza and got one for the boys too...i had 2 slices of low cal (40/slice) wheat bread and some sf jello... after the lunch my son and i went to good will, then walmart and finally to the comissary...we finally got home at 6pm!

we unloaded all the groceries and i put them away... well all the cold stuff then i sat and ate a salad and a vegetarian roast beef sandwich when i finished i was going to have some nuts but decided not too... and i put the rest of the groceries away...took me over an hr and now im eating sf.jello again... having some coffee too and im at 360 cals for the day - additionally this makes 12 days ive eaten and not purged... i think im about done eating for the day but i may still have an apple or apple sauce idk yet... i know all the shopping we did today - ive more than burned what i ate off!

i feel extremely full and i dont like this feeling - it triggers me more and today i was about to bp many times but i resisted and just had something to drink... i got some yarn today and a package from hubby's grandma and it was also full of yarn - yay! tomorrow i plan to clean and spend some time crocheting - im exhausted tonight... gonna take meds here soon and go to bed...

i did find the mini sandwich thins today - each small 2 pces is 50 cals... they are small but i can make them look big! i also got some vegan burges, sausage, breakfast sandwiches, 100 cal ready made protein shakes, a new journal, some 100 cal fruit crisps and raspberry cheesecake snack bars (90 cals each), also packets of instant oatmeal with 100cals a pack and same with the grits...i also got some sugar free applesauce with 50cals a serving and ind packets of light cream cheese which are 70cals each...dont forget my almond milk, egg beaters and calorie free dressing (x2), some coffee, ind non-dairy cream packets, koolaid and some other stuff like shampoo and melatonin...tomorrow i want to get the boys hair cuts and also get me some magnesium and stuff... i am going to make sure i do NOT bp tomorrow! oh also got me some sf jello as well and a new body pillow since i left my other one at the hospital and im NOT going back! i found some mini chocolates like york, reeses etc... and the small bars with hersheys, mr good bar and nestle for like $1!

so i am about to head to bed... might shower first but night wait till the am... gonna make myself some eggbeaters for breakfast and maybe a slice of toast - thats 100cals... deffinately some coffee too!!!
good night!