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Thursday, January 20, 2011

so triggered right now!!!! HELP ME!

so right now i am feeling really triggered... idky exactly just that part has to do with my boys eating dinner - the food smells is getting me tonight because i love spinach and they are having that with the porkchops and rice... i think also part is my youngest son... seems when i dont eat dinner with them - he doesnt seem to eat... he has already lost 6lbs and im getting worried as that puts him underweight for his age/height now i do NOT want him to get an ed too! im not really hungry i am feeling just really dizzy, lightheaded and pounding head makes me wanna cave in and purge to make it go away... thing is idk if it will actually go away this time!
i had my son get my latch hook stuff gonna try to do some of that and some mini exercisese...gonna start with:
200 crunches
leg lifts each side 10 min x 2 sets
pushups (ya im a whimp!) 10
hand weights (3lbs) curls and lifts x10 for each side x3 reps...
should be a good start... maybe some zumba later with wii if i have energy or the dizzy goes away - for now im sort of scared to go down the stairs seeing as when i stood up i nearly fell over sideway! everything went black and i had to lean on the bed to keep from falling so ya - maybe staying up here is the best and safest idea for now! still have 1 of the shakers of he iced coffee to drink... its so hard to do y!!!!!


SO HERE IS THE LATCH HOOK IM CURRENTLY WORKING ON - KEEP THOSE HANDS BUSY!!!
NOT MUCH LEFT TO FINISH! NOT TO WORRY THOUGH I HAVE 2 OTHERS WAITING!

oh and WELCOME to all my new followers! YAY!

so ive not caved but im feeling like a totally lost cause! all i can think about right now is b/p and how much i want it! y cant mia juts leave me alone already! i really wish id never met her and anyone who claims elsewise is full of shit in my opinion! granted at first its great with mia because she makes u lose weight successfully hen once ur body gets used to her - no more! and now u have no choice but to listen to her nagging calls and bitchy names unti u do as she wants or suffer the headaches and screaming voices in the mind... i just want to end the day and staart again... thing is i know first thing im gonna be smacked in the face with mia and have to deal with her all day again and alone... i really hate tihis lonely life!

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