so i am officially DISGUSTED! i had gotten all the way down to 106lbs back in early Nov 2010. i went to the dr so i water logged to 'cover my arse' and weighed in at 111... well after that the weight only went back down to 108 - i figure it was cuz the loss was partialy from lax...so i tried to lose it with trying to give up mia and instead all that happened was it went up - up - up! i got my period and it kept going UP! it went to 129! i finally got it o start going down...on Jan 1 i was 123.4 GROSS! SO ANGRY! well i got these new diet pills called 'Lipo 6x' i took the first one and i felt great - didnt wanna eat nothing - was so happy! well then it wore off, i was not able to take another cuz i was out the house and ended up bp - but hey i knew they worked! so... i took the next day but again was out - decided i needed to buy another bottle for in the van! well as of today i am 117.8! so ya they are working and its going down - but not fast enough! i also bought the second bottle yesterday bcuz all the out the house ive been doing i just havent managed to take the other doses resulting in bp... except yesterday... well yesterday was WAY triggering by crap that happened at my husbands base in Iraq... needless to say nothing stopped the need to bp so i did and once i did it was like oh well ill d it again bcuz it doesnt matter... then when i did i didnt get everything out bcuz my mom called and kept talking and talking and talking... so i decided to do it again... i did and i felt better but pissed! so i went to bed at 9pm...well at 1122pm i woke and couldnt go back to sleep so i got up and went downstairs - i wanted to bp but i resisted! yay! i actually started cleaning the kitchen instead - i mean DEEP cleaing as in toothbrush scrubbing! i was cleaning until 2am when i was so exhausted my yes wouldnt stay open so i came to bed and slept til 6am... this was time to get the boys up for school...so i got em up and got dressed and went and made waffles... i made 24 waffles and they r ready for storing in the freeze... im about to head down to make muffins, banana bread, pumpkin bread, rice, more baked potatoes and green bean casserole... some more cookies too... the boys will be set for a few days with foods that r good, healthy choices... so i feel ok... so far today ive had two tablets and a sip of iced coffee... im about to also make my protein/chia seed shake (80cals) iced so ti takes a long while to eat it... i really want to make it through today - NO purging!
i usually do not make resolutions - except to lose weight but this year i have a few other goals i KNOW right now i want to achieve - so here is my list...
Resolution 2011:
- blog/journal EVERYDAY
- keep food journal starting from today 5 jan 2011- be honest and write EVERYTHING in it even if its embarrassing!
- submit photos of my binges on this blog to see what i am doing to myself and help me stop!
- make 95lbs by feb 1
- STOP mia!!!!
- stay off lax
- keep grades up to A avg
- get out of debt
- keep checking account at a + balance and start saving
- be 100% honest with my hubby - even if its hard
So my plan and goal for today is to post more later... we shall see what happens!
2 comments:
Good luck with your resolutions, and I hope your husband is OK. My best friend's fiancee just got to Afghanistan, so I'm really praying that this war will be over soon!
good luck with your resolutions. i know how you feel about the weight gain. i was 108 middle of last year and skyrocketed up to 145 by the end :(
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